It’s time for Another break

There’s no easy way to say this: I am shutting down my paid subscription in August. And here’s why. I have been letting myself down by not producing enough quality content this year, and the weight of underperforming, along with the exhaustion of saying much of the same things season after season has me trying to wring water out of a dry sponge.

In other words, I’ve reached the end of my own internet.

If I’m being honest, it’s been more like the last two seasons that I’ve fallen short of what I promised I’d deliver to subscribers. I invested big to rebuild the website this winter in a fit of excitement and vigor for a new way to convene and share information; I’d hoped to build community outside the realm of social media.

But what I’ve quickly learned since returning to Instagram this spring is that we are all lazy, and accustomed to being spoon fed entertainment and information that keeps our eyes glued to the glowing blue screen. Admittedly, I now get a lot of information –and surely misinformation– from that platform too. Ask me to head over to my website to check on a comment or reply to a question and it may take me days to do it because I don’t open my laptop up daily.

It’s been a really fun 3.5 years of building a very engaged gardening community, but I feel overdue in closing this chapter of my public life. I really hope you all understand that it’s run its course and that I’m ready to explore new ways of living creatively.

I will keep the seedtofork.com website active, and all content will be made public in the next few weeks. At that time, the Forums will be going away too. If all goes according to plan, these changes will go into effect a week from today (Thursday, August 7).

For annual subscribers, if you want a partial refund, I will gladly refund you for the months I owe you. No refunds for monthly subscriptions. Please just shoot me an email and we can work it out.

What’s Next?

I’ve been telling myself for almost two years now that I am going to write more. I have taken several amazing writing classes but haven’t been able to give them my full attention because of my other commitments. I’ve drafted some really great personal essays that I want to try to get published in journals. So, I am optimistic that not having the constant productivity tasks to create more content will provide the space and desire to explore what it means to be a writer for me in this decade.

Because I can’t just keep adding more. I have to decide what’s important to me. And now is the time to scale everything back and search inside my soul for what is next for me.

As I look back on my creative burst that became Plant Grow Harvest Repeat, it was not something I did in addition to other things. It was my sole purpose for a full year. Yes, I gardened. But I gardened to photograph the garden for the book. And yes, I kept up my social media posts, but that was the blissful era of single or carousel photos and short essay captions.

Those months and years made me a writer. And that muscle has weakened since then, and I miss the second nature of sitting down to pen daily thoughts. So I am giving up this wonderful community and the financial stipend you all generously give me monthly to try and find home within myself.

I will be writing more personal essays over on megcowden.com, but this garden website will remain a full and free website for gardening knowledge and recipes.